Tuesday, October 6, 2009


"Don't lose what you got trying to get what you want."
-Don't really remember where it came from, but I ended up saying it on a record and it's relevant.

I don't want to preach. This isn't so much a soap-box to stand on as it is "therapeutic". Perhaps it even keeps me from losing myself in the midst of all of this. Maybe I'm not where so many feel I deserve to be because I'm too conscious. Either way I can't pretend to care. The things of the world that I can't control or change are not in my mind at this point. Everybody loves to be appreciated. Everyone loves to be recognized. What happens when that doesn't go far enough for the human ego? (Rhetorical)

Intentionally, this is probably the most random thing I've ever written in my life. I should say that I have an open mind, and I have recommitted to getting in to good shape. (In case you haven't noticed I'M A HUMAN BEING).

I talk about "grinding" because the period of my life that saw a change for the better came right after I was stuck in a mode of doing whatever for my money only to spend it on clothes, clubs, and anything to make it seem like I was doing more than I was. I rap from that perspective, understanding that this is what the hood does to you. No matter how far I go, I can't pretend to forget having a couple of thousand dollars cash and feeling like I had made it or I was rich. Some might argue that rapping about drug-dealing, fornication, or blowing your money is plaguing society. I happen to look at it from a different angle. I think its expression grounded in awareness. Such an awareness that's not always present when you're in the middle of it. Consequence is often preceded by choice, however options are often few and far between where I come from. Now or never is the mentality that sometimes pushes people over the edge. Having come from that, my career is fueled by the opposite. Maybe I could rap from an enlightened stance (and lose the majority) and tell everybody to invest efficiently, take care of your people, and live a healthy lifestyle. However, i'd much rather lead by example and exercise my freedom of expression. I started something with a dollar and a dream, so can anyone else. Regardless of what I'm saying, somebody's listening (and reading right now) and I think that's the name of the game.

If you're really paying attention, you'll notice then I'm an intellectual. I value making progress and making sense. Some artists do one or the other. I would prefer to do both. Nothing is perfect and neither am I, but I've thought far enough ahead to know that the change in the world doesn't start or end with me. I think everyone eligible should vote, but that just entered my realm of awareness recently so I've never mentioned it. I think education is important, but I also understand that college pushes some in to an adulthood of debt (hence the scholarship fund 12.15.08). I have a lot of conscious thoughts, but my music is full of wit, sarcasm, and almost a sense that I'm oblivious to anything that's not superficial. It's entertainment and unless you fully understood me, it might be difficult to understand. Dig a little deeper and there's something there. If I made it surface more it might be further misconstrued as preaching and as I said that's not my career choice. I'm just fine with being A-Lex.


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